Ginny's List
by citcat299
Summary: Desperate, Ginny writes a list of ideas to make Harry love her. Harry Ron and Hermione are in for a lot of trouble! PG13 just to be on the safe side. R
1. Ginny's List

Ginnys List  
  
1. Kill Fred and George for stealing my pink frilly underwear and dumping it on Harry's camp bed.  
  
2. Destroy all evidence of my undying love for Harry, I mean .... my .. er...um ... Harry ... JUST DESTROY MY DIARY  
  
3. Steal Fred and George's broomsticks and run over them with lawn mower. Steal Ron's to use for myself.  
  
4. Practice my eye lash fluttering in mirror at 3am so Fred and George don't catch me at it and take a picture [again]  
  
5. Cause unrest between Ron and Hermione and Harry so Harry likes me more in comparison.  
  
Ideas For Making Ron and Hermione and Harry hate each other  
  
1. Dye Ron's hair pink in the middle of the night and pour water on his bed to make it look like he wet his bed. Then cover Harry's hand with hair dye and hide hair dye bottle under Harry's bed.  
  
2. Swap Harry and Ron's broomsticks over so it looks like Ron took Harry's.  
  
3. Shave Crookshanks and lock her in Harry and Ron's bedroom.  
  
4. tear pages out of Hermione's text books and scatter them on the lawn while Ron and Harry are flying on their broomsticks.  
  
5. Hide strategically placed love notes between Hermione and Harry where Ron can find them.  
  
6. After Ron is convinced Hermione and Harry are seeing each other behind his back, make it look like Harry has hurt Hermione and tell Harry that Ron is jealous of him and is spreading false accusations about him.  
  
7. Tell Hermione that Ron and Harry have decided that she slept with Victor Krum and therefore is a slut and that they are arguing over who gets to sleep with her first.  
  
8. Sit back and relax as they attempt to kill each other and when they are done convince Harry that you are his only true friend and make him fall in love with you.  
  
I wrote this for a bit of fun, hope at least 1 person found it amusing! PLEASE REVIEW!!! [I'll give you a cookie (] 


	2. Ginny's love note attempts

Since I feel like writing, I'll add another chapter to this! :)  
  
IDEAS FOR LOVE NOTES FROM HARRY TO HERMIONE  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I love you and no other...  
  
"NO! I can't write that! Harry has to love ME! ME I say!"  
  
Ginny realised that she was pulling out her hair, and slowly lowered her arm.  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
My passion for you runs deeper than the ocean...  
  
" No way! It makes my Harry sound like some sleazy muggle poet!"  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
Don't you EVER tell Ron of our secret love sessions...  
  
Ginny stared at the paper and her eyes widened. " Oh no... It might give Harry and Hermione ideas!"  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I love you, you love me. We're a happy family...  
  
Ginny stared at the paper in disgust.  
  
"I think I need counseling...there must be something badly wrong with me."  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I love you. But of course I love Ginny much, MUCH more and I want to marry her and...  
  
Ginny sighed regretfully. "I guess I can't write that, it would defeat the entire purpose of my plan."  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
Make sweet sweet love to me baby!  
  
Ginny looked at the piece of paper. And screwed it up and threw it into the bin.  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
Don't you ever tell Ronnikins of our secret love affair...  
  
Ginny shook her head. "No...It's too out of character, there's no WAY Harry would ever call my brother Ronnikins. [ I don't know why he's even friends with the loser anyway, maybe he was bribed.]"  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I love you Ginn...I mean Hermion...I mean Ginny.....I mean Herm....I mean.... I have serious issues.  
  
Dear Harry,  
  
I love you I love you I love you. You are beautiful, but don't tell Ron I said so.  
  
From Harry  
  
"that'll.............wait a minute!"  
  
Dear Ginherharry,  
  
Love is in the air I love you love love love...me he...  
  
Love Ron.  
  
Ginny falls asleep. Then suddenly wakes up again and shakes herself. She stares at the paper, rubs her eyes, stares at the paper again, and screws it up and throws it into the bin.  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
Lets meet again when Ron is sleeping, I'll be waiting for you in the living room at 12 midnight tonight. I love you.  
  
Love Harry  
  
" That great!....oh yeah, what if Ron actually GOES there at midnight to see what they are up to. I guess I forgot that I'm not up to making N.E.W.T level illusion charms..."  
  
Dear Hermione,  
  
I want to make love to you again like we did the other night in the shower...  
  
" Urgh!.....bad images...VERY bad images."  
  
Many hours later, Ginny's waste paper bin overflowing, Ginny tried again one...last....time.  
  
273. Dear Hermione,  
  
.... ...... ...... .... .... ... ...... ..... ..... ... aw, screw this.  
  
And that concludes it! Please, at the risk of repeating myself, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Thankyou. :) 


	3. Harry's Diary Part 1

***** Yes I know, I haven't written anything for like, YONKS!!!! I guess I just ran out of inspiration and also had too much work to do... anyway, enjoy this and there *might* be another chapter coming up cause its holidays soon...******  
  
HARRY'S DIARY PART 1  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Last night, It was really late and I was about to jump into bed when I saw the pair of disgustingly frilly pink undies lying on my pillow. Using the end of my broomstick, I chucked them out the window.  
  
Very funny Hermione...  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
This morning, the Weasly's, Hermione and me were all sitting around the table eating breakfast as usual. Me and Ron were discussing Quidditch, when I happened to glance around the table, and I noticed something seemed to be wrong with Ginny...  
  
"Um...Ginny?"  
  
"Yes Harry?"  
  
"Is there something wrong with your eyes?"  
  
"No, I'm fine. Why?"  
  
"Yeah sure. Like someone with nothing wrong with them would be blinking like that! It's ok, you can tell me."  
  
Then, would you believe it, she actually turned bright red and walked away! Ron was just as puzzled as I was, but shrugged, and suggested that she had drunken one too many cups of cordial the night before.  
  
Later: I conclude that Ginny is hiding something, possibly to do with eye surgery...  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I can't believe it! Fred, George, Ron and I stepped outside this morning to have a game of Quidditch and lying on the lawn in front of the house, were Fred and Georges broomsticks in splintered pieces! It looked to me as though someone had run over them with a lawnmower, but we discussed it and it just seemed too unlikely. I mean what is the chance of some crazy muggle with a lawnmower coming to a wizarding house and mowing up a pair of broomsticks!!!  
  
Fred and George are absolutely furious, they disapperated straight away. I think probably to buy some new broomsticks.  
  
Of course, Ron and I went straight to the broom shed to check on our brooms and Ron has disappeared altogether! We looked everywhere, but its as though its vanished into thin air! Surprisingly, the only broom left untouched was my firebolt. In fact, it almost looked as though someone had polished it...  
  
I conclude that something weird is going on here... 


	4. A day in the life of Harry

Hi everybody! I doubt you've noticed, but I've made a few changes to the story. I like this story and I realised that I was a bit careless with the earlier chapters when they could have been improved. To tell you the truth, i like the 2nd chapter the least and I would have deleted it if I hadn't put so much work into it. I know my chapters are EXTREMELY short but they still take a lot of time and effort to write. Anyway, here goes!  
  
A day in the life of Harry: Harry's Diary Part 2  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Ron and I just got up and have discovered that Ron's bed is soaking wet! I swear, I have told Ron so MANY times that they need to hire a plumber in to check their roof. Ron said no because the house was so obviously magic that the 'pumbler' would be sure to notice. However I know that its really because Fred and George told Ron the Plumbers also like to clean human bodies in their spare time......honestly......  
  
Later: I was standing in front of the mirror and I saw that my hair and my hands have been turned bright pink!!! Seriously, this time Hermione has gone a step too far....  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
You won't believe this; after lunch in went into the shed to fetch my broomstick and discovered it in Ron's favorite place still clean and even shiner.... It's almost as though it had been polished AGAIN!! I can't believe that Ron went to all that trouble to clean my broomstick for me...It seems almost unnaturally thoughtful. I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I do...  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
This afternoon I was snooping around the house when I heard this strange meowing sound. I followed the sound and to my surprise it was coming from Ron's and my bedroom! I turned to the knob and tried to push open the door....only to discover it was locked? Once I had managed to unlock the door I pushed it open, to see crookshanks, standing in the middle of the floor growing threateningly. I was willing to bet that his hair would have been standing on end...If it hadn't all been shaved off!!! I was standing there in total shock when the monstrous animal attacked me! Finally, to the cost of much blood and ripped skin, I managed to hold him in a headlock.  
  
With nothing but thoughts about what Hermione would do to me if she caught me with her cat in this state, I stepped out into the corridor just in time to see Ginny walking around the corner. I dived back into the bedroom, making not a small amount of noise in doing so, but as I saw Ginny walk past she seemed to be too busy whistling to notice! Ginny? Whistling? However that was nothing compared to what would happen to me if Hermione saw me with a shaved crookshanks!  
  
I am a dead man.  
  
My life couldn't possibly get any worse...  
  
Mhahahahaha, poor Harry! What horrors are in store for him? Review, and you might find out!!![note the word 'might' there ;)] 


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